Do you have friends? Like the kind of friends that you can ugly cry in front of or whine about how hard life is and know that they won't judge you the way you judge yourself when that happens? Someone other than you spouse or family? Not that spouses and family aren't important, but sometimes they are biased because they need you to be okay so they can feel okay and that keeps you from feeling truly understood and supported. A friend isn't usually your primary life partner and doesn't rely on...
27 days ago • 2 min read
It's Holy Week and I know...it's a lot. I'm not even in the pulpit and it's a lot for me and our family. All the additional services, on top of the regular weekly duties....it's just...A LOT. These are the weeks when insidious patterns of mediocre self-care, or worse yet, lack there of, wreak havoc not only on the individual, but on those surrounding them. The pressure to perform and push and get it all done takes a lot of capacity and I bet many of you are already running out of that. I...
2 months ago • 1 min read
This testimonial is from one of the recent participants of the Restoration Fellowship that will begin again soon. Warning lights When you own a car, it is important to watch for the so-called “idiot lights.” Those lights that light up the dashboard with warnings such as “headlight out,” “add oil,” or the most terrifying “engine light.” We learn not to ignore when the light comes on. We learn that putting off dealing with a warning light can lead to catastrophic damage to a car’s engine. Yet,...
3 months ago • 5 min read
I have recently been working on developing a boundaries training for the California Pacific Conference of the United Methodist Church and this is a question I've been wrestling with in that process. One of the issues we explore is the responsibility that comes with being a minister and the impact that has on boundaries. I'm sure you have been encouraged to consider that in your interactions with others, especially those in your congregation, but I wonder if you have considered how it might be...
4 months ago • 3 min read
Mary and Joseph Retreat Center Palos Verdes, CA I like the visual of taking off the stole and laying down the burden that ministry can sometimes be. Clergy are tasked with many responsibilities and are often allowed into the most intimate moments of peoples lives (weddings, death bed, funerals, births). We see fear and joy, anger and sorrow, and are asked to hold so much. With all of that, it is important to remember that we too, need to lay down our burdens, share the load, and experience...
4 months ago • 2 min read
As much of the country is covered in ice and snow and violence is ever present in news, the song, In The Bleak Mid-Winter (the Sarah McLachlan version) comes to my mind. Ideally you have been able to take a break and recover from the business of Advent, the holidays, and the societal unrest. If we take our cue from nature, January is a great time to pause, reflect and rest before new growth, and honestly our nervous systems need breaks to recover and remain resilient. Maybe you have been able...
4 months ago • 1 min read
If you need to process what happened on Tuesday so you can show up as your best self on Sunday, join us for a free gathering this Friday, Nov. 8 @ 9am PST. Full disclosure, I went to bed hoping for a different outcome and woke up to the reality of today. I felt sad, afraid, and angry at my neighbor who was blaring the song, I'm proud to be an American and really didn't know what to do about it. I know others felt hopeful and are relieved but may have people in their congregation that are on...
over 1 year ago • 1 min read
Are you gearing up for Advent? Are you already planning what extra programing you're going to offer during Lent? And do you feel excited about this, or overwhelmed? Maybe a little bit of both? What if you were as intentional about planning for your mental health and wellbeing as you are about planning the church calendar? What if you planned time for rest and renewal with the same thoughtfulness and spiritual guidance as you do the programing offered to help your people experience the Holy...
over 1 year ago • 1 min read