This is a space for clergy in need of support to do the work they are called to do. A place of rest and renewal, honesty and transparency. Subscribe to hear from our Founder, Rev. Kinsie M. Tate who is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Ordained Minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and clergy spouse.
Going at it alone?
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Do you have friends? Like the kind of friends that you can ugly cry in front of or whine about how hard life is and know that they won't judge you the way you judge yourself when that happens? Someone other than you spouse or family? Not that spouses and family aren't important, but sometimes they are biased because they need you to be okay so they can feel okay and that keeps you from feeling truly understood and supported. A friend isn't usually your primary life partner and doesn't rely on you to meet their basic needs, so they're better able to listen without fear and tell you the hard truth without worrying you'll both crash out. The sad truth is that most pastors don't have friends like this. I read a Barna article on The Friendship Gap in Pastoral Life that came out in January of this year that said more than two in five pastors say they often feel isolated, and only one in three say they have anyone outside their church they can truly confide in about personal matters. I think most of us know that loneliness isn’t always about being alone. I know I've seen lots of commercials for depression meds talking about that, and maybe I just notice it because I'm a therapist, but clergy are surrounded by people frequently and are some of the loneliest individuals I know. For many pastors, it’s a deeper disconnect and they really struggle to open up and allow others to bear the burden for a while. “This is a red flag for long-term sustainability in leadership,” Barna CEO David Kinnaman notes. “Friendship, vulnerability, and spiritual direction aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines.” We offer all 3 in our programs, especially the Restoration Fellowship. Friendship, vulnerability and spiritual growth take time and commitment. When the majority of your time is spent holding healthy boundaries with others because you are their pastor and need to honor the trust and power differential, it's really hard to shift and receive care and comfort. It's especially hard to find the energy to go out and develop those relationships, to do what often feels like dating but with friends. Come and connect with other clergy that get what it's like to serve, lead, and still try to be a whole, healthy, person. If you'd like to begin a journey of connection and community, join us for our next 1 hour Wellness Insight: Running on Empty: The Hidden Costs of Depletion in Ministry happening June 10, 2026 @ 10am PST/ 1pm EST. It's an hour of your time, you'll get a CEU for attending, and maybe find some community and connection that will grow into the kind of friendship we all need. You don't have to go at it alone. We are here to help.
Take Care, Rev. Kinsie M. Tate, LPCC Founder and Executive Director Restore Clergy |
Restore Clergy
This is a space for clergy in need of support to do the work they are called to do. A place of rest and renewal, honesty and transparency. Subscribe to hear from our Founder, Rev. Kinsie M. Tate who is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Ordained Minister in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and clergy spouse.
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